1. Getting dressed in the morning, you have to remind yourself that wearing a tank top will entail letting the world see the huge red welt on your shoulder from your backpack.

2. The kids you did DARE with in the fourth grade are arrested for possesion.

3. The only thing less advanced than your school's tech ed program is your furby.

4. People no longer laugh at toilet jokes, but if someone acts 'ghetto', it's hysterically funny.

5. You feel pressured to be an individual, but have no idea how to because every sign of individuality has been used by the other nonconformists.

6. You're not sure whether or not your teacher is a dead rat.

7. At the drug store, you no longer sneak comic books or pornography. Having lost your literacy, youbuy computer programs entitled: 'Reading is Fun' for ages 4-8.

8. In science class when you look at the Ant Farm, you are reminded of the hallway in your school. Then, the last ant egg hatches, and the farm explodes, littering the room with ants, sand, and glass. All your teacher does is casually look up from her adult magazine and says, oh, I guess they were overpopulated'.

9. The principal can't see you because he is having a meeting to decide which national anthem to play accompanying the star spangled banner in the morning: african american, hispanic american, aisian american, italian american, or jersey?

10. When you go to the doctor because you god food poisoning, he leans in close and asks you softly if you're sure you're not pregnant. When you mention that you're a boy, he just smiles and says, 'you never know'.

11. Whenever you play music one of your parents comes in and asks you what's wrong.

12. Your science project is a colorful poster with a list of mammals on it while your 8 year old sister has to write a 10 page research report on koalas.

13. You coordinate your room so the candles are on one side and the hairspray on the other.

14. Your friend offers to do your makeup, saying, 'I can make you look like a real slut!' and you agree.

15. You realize that that great guy/girl you've been dating for a week is a figment of your LSD induced imagination.

16. When you tell someone what you did that day they keep listening after your done because they don't beleive anyone could possibly have done so little in a 24 hour period.

17. More people care about legalizing marijuana than animal rights.

18. Your last two english teachers quit to become prison guards.

19. On senior skip day all your teachers over 65 don't come to school.

20. You find yourself in the principals office. He suspends you for carrying a nail file on school property because his policy 'does not support violence'.

21. Your parents stop asking you about your girlfriend/boyfriend, and start telling you about their old partners and the stuff they did in college, which leaves you wondering how they even got into college.

22. You finally get a job, and your parents wont pick you up because they don't go into that neighborhood.

23. You want to be unique, so you wait until your teen magazine comes as a guide to which clothes hardly anyone wears. A week later, you show up at school wearing the same shirt as half the student population and you just can't figure out why.

24. The last time you went to the hospital it was because you put on too much mascara and it formed a lead coat over your eyelids, which needed to be removed with a chisel.

25. The entire school building is painted the school colors, including the floor and ceiling.